Yesterday, I paid the last monthly installment of my student loan. I can’t tell you how many times I counted the years, the months, the days, and the minutes for that very second.
I was there holding the money savoring the moment unable to move when little voices from the past called me, blinding what I could see in the present. And I remembered the fear, the need, the uncertainty, and the alienation. But I also remembered the determination in middle of the fear, the control in the need, the courage in the uncertainty and the hope in the alienation.
And I thanked, to whomever deity was available, for everything, for all the experiences, the cloudy and sunny days. All are special, useful and a treasure to me.
The teller called me interrupting my thoughts. And I just stared at her in response. She smiled and politely took the money that I wasn’t really offering. Processed the payment. And I was free.
I am free.
Yoneko: Writer and consultant 