Emotions and thoughts gather at night to remind me of my mistakes, my flaws, and the unworthiness of my existence. So many emotions, so many thoughts, I don’t fight them anymore, I can’t fight them anymore.
I let them crawl over me like dark spiders; dark spiders whose eyes shine in the obscurity of the night. They knit their web around my hands, they tie my hands and my fingers until they bleed.
Fear and anxiety blur my thoughts, my vision and I can only see walls, impossible goals, and heartache.
I can’t write.
The sunrise scares them away, and their spell disappears momentarily, long enough for me to write these lines.
They are gone long enough for me to believe they might not come back. But they do, they always come back. They don’t forget me. They can’t. For I am their mother, their creator, and master.
Yoneko: Writer and consultant 